The art is gorgeous, but the literal translation is painful to read.
Also the first act is a horrible drag, it's just one info dump after another about the most boring parts of the lore that could be explained later and more organically. It doesn't help, of course, that it's all delivered in what feels like a poor machine translation.
Add to that the fact this VN essentially has two opening acts, due to starting with a flashback sequence, and you get a very-very boring beginning for a story.
I hope it picks up later.
EDIT: It does get better, writing-wise, and the translation gets much-much better. Hopefully they can get around to reworking these earlier amateurish chapters sooner rather than later.
Apologies, this was in the early heydays of my translation. i gave it to editor to improve, but lack of experience did cause some issues, and he translated parts far too literal. I can't do too much to change that it's two opening act, but we will try and make the writing a little more bearable.
The story is slow burn, but will pick up. It is also because it is the writer's first time into FVN, so he wasn't able to balance pacing well. But he improves on writing, as am I in translation the more we expermient, learn and write on this. Trust me on that.
thanks for the feedback on it. We have putten love and passion into this project, and critcism like this allow us to recognize our flaws to improve on.
It's nice to see that you care, I hope you can eventually figure something out here. This is the opening act after all, it's very important, because it creates the initial impression of your project. You never get to make the first impression twice.
Btw, I've been in your situation before, except we were trying to get our project translated into Chinese language - none of us knew Chinese, none of us knew anyone who could speak Chinese. The first translation was a robot translation that could be barely understood, then we hired someone who claimed to be a translation service, but made things only worse - pretty much everything was laughably wrong, and our Chinese fans kept making fun of all the mistakes.
In the end, a Chinese fan who could speak English(and therefore understood the original text properly) stepped forward and offered his help with the translations, and his work ended up fixing the issue completely, the Chinese fans were finally happy. Maybe ask your western fans, if someone who can understand your original writing could take a look at the text?
I will consider your advice. Understand, it's my first time in translation, especially for chapter one, and I was overconfident in my ability. The more i translate, the more I improve to I think what is a credited spot, and you should see that in future chapters. Your concern has been taken before by serious readers, and they've given similar feedback. Which is why I got another Chinese-English speaker for editing. Unfortunately, overtrust instead of foresight of what inexpeirence could lead to, lead the result of what could be minor changes for translation, into now days of re-editing again, with most being chapter 1.
I have my fair share of media reading, so I am confident that my translation for the final time will be great. However, I will consider to take in someone western so that they may make decent changes to some minor details, and make the story feel more interesting to read. The over exposition is something I cannot change, and the writer hasn't got the time for that, nor will it be easy, so the structure is stuck as it is. So we do what we can for translation, and as will the writer in future chapters, to keep the pacing a bit more fairer (still slow burn, he enjoys that quite a bit, as well as lore and knowledge dump at times). At least that's something I can do.
It will be a while though. i know you're not impressed on first impression, but trust me, the entire team, both English and Chinese did put in heart in trying to make the Chinese work shine in western world, and anything we can try and improve on is the best we can do.
p.s. prior to this, it was grammar mistakes, but quirky english translation that can be understand well, and enjoyable at times. I intend to bring a degree of that back in the final iteration, as something that's unqiue to this. We did not use machine, inexperience is what happened, and we seldom got things like this from fans until now.
Oh, I've actually gotten quite far already and I must admit, you were right, the translation became dramatically better, good job! I'm genuinely impressed at your growth, it couldn't have been easy!
I am so happy I can now judge the writing in good faith without feeling like I'm punching down. Though I'll wait till the story is over, of course.
Anyway, thank you for the chat and I wish you luck with your project, I can see now you're doing your best and don't need any more of my nagging.
A nagging tells us that we're not perfect, and much we can improve on. And no matter how you judge, good or bad, mediocre or hate, we will move on. Because we are confident, knowing we're doing the right thing by doing the hard thing, the believable thing, and the precise thing.
I enjoy your feedback, and I hope you enjoy not only this story, but future stories from here and other vns.
I am enjoying this conversation, and it gives me confidence that this VN is definitely worth reading.
As long as the meaning is clear and the writing flows well, I usually prefer translations that keep some of the quirks and idiom of the original language. I’m glad that you aren’t planning to make your characters sound like Americans or Brits!
Hey Rickalick87, saw your edit (Don't know when you edited this), and thanks for the talk. Rework will be really, really hard, until we get the actual writer to go back on it. We will try, but until then, best we can do is improving the earlier, machine-like translation. But I'm happy you stuck through it, and maybe? enjoyed the later parts of the writing and translation.
Can't promise a sooner improve for the earlier amateurish chapters, those are hard to get, but we certainly can make reading experience less intolerable. And we're doing that right now.
p.s. Been taking your advice, and had new members to join in to help with the editing and such. We're still a learning group, and hope to get there with future chapters and such to redeem our shoddy work in the early parts.
p.p.s Some more feedbacks about story will also be nice. Harsh, nice, whatever, we take it in humbly.
First of all, I would like to thank the author and the translation team for this wonderful chapter, it is one of my favorites so far, you can see the increase in quality of this chapter compared to the others and the effort the author put into it.
I loved Bai Yu's route because of the little romance between him and Tex. It has definitely become one of my favorite visual novels and I'm looking forward to the next chapter, I wish the whole team the best, excellent work.
thank you for your kind reply. I am glad DelaX and I can deliver you a fun and exciting story! We intend to work hard and well until we improve the story more and more.
Chapter 4, but as of right now, we are close to finish but not published for translation. It will be released separately as a standalone first on a different engine before we incorporate it in with the Renpy version.
YESS, but when will it release for android?? I cant wait to try it!!!You guys made it sound so intresting with the new content and stuff!!And btw thanks for telling me because IT takes a while until i get a notification that a new update dropped.
We actually released that earlier this year. But this is the English Renpy version, and the android as well. We will be improving the more we go through this project.
However, thanks for the passionate response, and we will hopefully release chapter 4 translation soon as well.
This is kinda stupid for me to ask, but I can't seem to get this vn to launch at all. And I need to know if anyone else is having this problem or if it's just my PC?
We have the new 0.4, which is renpy engine, one that is easier to run. Of it's 4.0 that you use, and still can't use it, then it might be a pc problem. Sorry I can't help as much more than that.
Sorry to the audience, the translation is going well, but it has been exhausting. This chapter is the longest of all four current chapter, and there's more technical terms I'm trying to translate, so it's much, much more complicated.
Also, life problems, so can't juggle it very well.
But some grammar problems and parts of menu not translated. (mostly not a big deal)
Most of grammar mistakes not a problem. For instance: using "then" twice. Usually it is like: "first this, and then talk about this." OR "first this, and talk about this then.", not both.
Basic sentence structure in english: who/what - action - details.
I'd say Grammar now at 8/10
Issue with game not working is still there. Still need to permit use of .dll file after download. (explained earlier in comments)
Lastly, (for PC) going back using mouse scroll might be a good idea (similar to RenPy based projects controls)
Hello, good to hear your feedback. Right now, we are working on grammar improvement to make a better flow for the first three chapter, as well as Chp4 translation.
With the issue of game of not working, and the mouse scroll situation, that's just the engine restrictions. Of we ever find someone who can convert all our work into Renpy engine, it might be achieved, including new demanded features as well.
Hello, unfortunately, plans to translate it into other languages will be hard, and not planned yet. We would be happy to have a translator who would be happy to translate Chinese to Russian, but that will be in the future.
This game is so well written, and I love the narrative taken, chapter 4 is a LOT of content. Nice job! keep up the good work!!! Kerno (I think that's the name) is my favourite character as well... The audio design is stellar!!! The music and sound effects perfectly fit every scene that it is used; to make a very immersive experience.
Quick question, when future updates come out, how will previous progress with character relationships carry over from past playthroughs? Will we be able to continue where our story left off?
Hello, sorry for the late reply. Unfortunately, I cannot answer how character relationship works for the VN, but regardless, other than whoever you spend time with, the story is more linear. The paths you chooses are more of understanding characters and solitary story that builds up the world view. Thank you for you reply, and we'll do our utmost to reach out with the English fans with the Tianhehui Chp4 translation to the best quality we can provide
We are sorry. Chapter 4 is the largest update to date for translation, and with certain feedback, anything less than 90 is unacceptable for us. Please be patient, and we will deliver a good result for those who like the VN
Hello everybody！If you like this novel,don't forget to promote it to let more people know TianHeHui.Because support is the creator's forward momentum.And thanks for your playing！Have a nice day~
The start is a bit slow but been loving it lately. Rare to find a mc capable of fighting, especially together with such an op group lol. Cgs are great and i love the artstyle in them
There's some tiny weirdness with the translation, like I think "longlong or longguang" (i forgot), i'm pretty sure it means dragon technology in the context. But for the most part the english translation is good enough to enjoy the vn
If you've been waiting to read it, now's a good time. There's a lot of reading hours in the first 3 chapters
Yeah that's a bit confusing then. Is dragon palace a building or a dragon family? The context was i think "longgong technology made the incense burner"
Longgong is a undersea city for the Eastern Dragons, and "Longgong Technology" basically meant technology that have origin from Longgong or based on Longgong's technology. I hope that clears up a little
Now.. Im Gonna be BRUTALLY Honest This is DEFINETLY! One of the Best Visual novels ive Ever READ In my life time. The Story is AMAZING>>> The Artstyle and Characters Are BEAUTIFULY GORGEOUS..... And Overall Well Made!!! i Cannot wait for the Continuation!! (I Know its gonna take a while cuz of Translation- but hey! it doest Really matter! For such a Wonderful novel!!!)
ha sido un juego de lo mas divertido, se leer ingles pero no escribirlo asi que lamento el hecho de escribir asi esta novela ha sido la mejor que he jugado no solo por escritura sino diseño transfodo y decisiones...saludos desde la sociedad latinoamericana<3
pd: me encanta Rex , me gusta por el hecho de que puedo relatarme en el, ne el querer ser util para tu familia y ayudarles incluso tengo a mi propio claude (mi hermano)
can I ask why after I download the game and hit play it opens a black screen that disappears after maybe two minutes and doesn't want to let me even load the open screen
← Return to game
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The art is gorgeous, but the literal translation is painful to read.
Also the first act is a horrible drag, it's just one info dump after another about the most boring parts of the lore that could be explained later and more organically. It doesn't help, of course, that it's all delivered in what feels like a poor machine translation.
Add to that the fact this VN essentially has two opening acts, due to starting with a flashback sequence, and you get a very-very boring beginning for a story.
I hope it picks up later.
EDIT: It does get better, writing-wise, and the translation gets much-much better. Hopefully they can get around to reworking these earlier amateurish chapters sooner rather than later.
Apologies, this was in the early heydays of my translation. i gave it to editor to improve, but lack of experience did cause some issues, and he translated parts far too literal. I can't do too much to change that it's two opening act, but we will try and make the writing a little more bearable.
The story is slow burn, but will pick up. It is also because it is the writer's first time into FVN, so he wasn't able to balance pacing well. But he improves on writing, as am I in translation the more we expermient, learn and write on this. Trust me on that.
thanks for the feedback on it. We have putten love and passion into this project, and critcism like this allow us to recognize our flaws to improve on.
Oh hey, thanks for a reply!
It's nice to see that you care, I hope you can eventually figure something out here. This is the opening act after all, it's very important, because it creates the initial impression of your project. You never get to make the first impression twice.
Btw, I've been in your situation before, except we were trying to get our project translated into Chinese language - none of us knew Chinese, none of us knew anyone who could speak Chinese. The first translation was a robot translation that could be barely understood, then we hired someone who claimed to be a translation service, but made things only worse - pretty much everything was laughably wrong, and our Chinese fans kept making fun of all the mistakes.
In the end, a Chinese fan who could speak English(and therefore understood the original text properly) stepped forward and offered his help with the translations, and his work ended up fixing the issue completely, the Chinese fans were finally happy. Maybe ask your western fans, if someone who can understand your original writing could take a look at the text?
I will consider your advice. Understand, it's my first time in translation, especially for chapter one, and I was overconfident in my ability. The more i translate, the more I improve to I think what is a credited spot, and you should see that in future chapters. Your concern has been taken before by serious readers, and they've given similar feedback. Which is why I got another Chinese-English speaker for editing. Unfortunately, overtrust instead of foresight of what inexpeirence could lead to, lead the result of what could be minor changes for translation, into now days of re-editing again, with most being chapter 1.
I have my fair share of media reading, so I am confident that my translation for the final time will be great. However, I will consider to take in someone western so that they may make decent changes to some minor details, and make the story feel more interesting to read. The over exposition is something I cannot change, and the writer hasn't got the time for that, nor will it be easy, so the structure is stuck as it is. So we do what we can for translation, and as will the writer in future chapters, to keep the pacing a bit more fairer (still slow burn, he enjoys that quite a bit, as well as lore and knowledge dump at times). At least that's something I can do.
It will be a while though. i know you're not impressed on first impression, but trust me, the entire team, both English and Chinese did put in heart in trying to make the Chinese work shine in western world, and anything we can try and improve on is the best we can do.
p.s. prior to this, it was grammar mistakes, but quirky english translation that can be understand well, and enjoyable at times. I intend to bring a degree of that back in the final iteration, as something that's unqiue to this. We did not use machine, inexperience is what happened, and we seldom got things like this from fans until now.
Oh, I've actually gotten quite far already and I must admit, you were right, the translation became dramatically better, good job! I'm genuinely impressed at your growth, it couldn't have been easy!
I am so happy I can now judge the writing in good faith without feeling like I'm punching down. Though I'll wait till the story is over, of course.
Anyway, thank you for the chat and I wish you luck with your project, I can see now you're doing your best and don't need any more of my nagging.
A nagging tells us that we're not perfect, and much we can improve on. And no matter how you judge, good or bad, mediocre or hate, we will move on. Because we are confident, knowing we're doing the right thing by doing the hard thing, the believable thing, and the precise thing.
I enjoy your feedback, and I hope you enjoy not only this story, but future stories from here and other vns.
I am enjoying this conversation, and it gives me confidence that this VN is definitely worth reading.
As long as the meaning is clear and the writing flows well, I usually prefer translations that keep some of the quirks and idiom of the original language. I’m glad that you aren’t planning to make your characters sound like Americans or Brits!
Hey Rickalick87, saw your edit (Don't know when you edited this), and thanks for the talk. Rework will be really, really hard, until we get the actual writer to go back on it. We will try, but until then, best we can do is improving the earlier, machine-like translation. But I'm happy you stuck through it, and maybe? enjoyed the later parts of the writing and translation.
Can't promise a sooner improve for the earlier amateurish chapters, those are hard to get, but we certainly can make reading experience less intolerable. And we're doing that right now.
p.s. Been taking your advice, and had new members to join in to help with the editing and such. We're still a learning group, and hope to get there with future chapters and such to redeem our shoddy work in the early parts.
p.p.s Some more feedbacks about story will also be nice. Harsh, nice, whatever, we take it in humbly.
First of all, I would like to thank the author and the translation team for this wonderful chapter, it is one of my favorites so far, you can see the increase in quality of this chapter compared to the others and the effort the author put into it.
I loved Bai Yu's route because of the little romance between him and Tex. It has definitely become one of my favorite visual novels and I'm looking forward to the next chapter, I wish the whole team the best, excellent work.
thank you for your kind reply. I am glad DelaX and I can deliver you a fun and exciting story! We intend to work hard and well until we improve the story more and more.
*insert Burrito Guy self sucking here*
Just a question, are the other chapters done but they are not translated?
Even tho You guys just updated im already excited for the next update!
Chapter 4, but as of right now, we are close to finish but not published for translation. It will be released separately as a standalone first on a different engine before we incorporate it in with the Renpy version.
Okay! I hope everything goes well in making it!
Well, it is only the PC build out for now, but Chapter 4 is out, horray
YESS, but when will it release for android?? I cant wait to try it!!!You guys made it sound so intresting with the new content and stuff!!And btw thanks for telling me because IT takes a while until i get a notification that a new update dropped.
AHHHH I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR 2 YEARS FOR THE ENGLISH VERSION. THANK YOUUU FOR AN EARLY CHRISTMAS GIFT
We actually released that earlier this year. But this is the English Renpy version, and the android as well. We will be improving the more we go through this project.
However, thanks for the passionate response, and we will hopefully release chapter 4 translation soon as well.
This is kinda stupid for me to ask, but I can't seem to get this vn to launch at all. And I need to know if anyone else is having this problem or if it's just my PC?
We have the new 0.4, which is renpy engine, one that is easier to run. Of it's 4.0 that you use, and still can't use it, then it might be a pc problem. Sorry I can't help as much more than that.
Holy craapppp??? Thank you for gracing us with an English, android update! Now I can read any time anywhere. Downloading it right now!
You are welcome! Thank our programmer for making this possible!
This visual don't have Android? :( I wanna watch:(((((((((((
COME BACK TOMORROW... THE LONG AWAITED MOMENT HAS COME.
YOUR WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED. ANDROID RELEASE
Yeahhh
Now available for Android
Yayyyyyy
I would like to know which are the social networks of delax, I really like his art, the twitter account appears to me that it does not exist.
Hello, friend. Social networks of DelaX does exist on twitter, but is more for mature audience. Most of his arts are found on Weibo or Bilibili.
这是我玩过的第一款也可能是最让我入迷的一类小说剧情类的游戏，我能和几乎每个兽共情，尤其是和主角，都想成为作家，生活都有不幸，唯独他比我多的无非是一个哥哥和一群朋友。无论如何，无论到什么时候，哪怕这段故事再怎么不为人知，我会把天合会的故事讲下去的。支持作者大大！
第五章呢，已经快2025年了
你先别急
被笑死
hhhh
How the progress on ENG version for chapter 4? It's been so long
Sorry to the audience, the translation is going well, but it has been exhausting. This chapter is the longest of all four current chapter, and there's more technical terms I'm trying to translate, so it's much, much more complicated.
Also, life problems, so can't juggle it very well.
will this game be available on Mac?
run it on a windows visual box
YYDS！！戴拉克斯！
第五章什么时候出呢
第四章才出来没多久...
愿快快出安卓端。
I'd love to play this game but I own Android
This looks like a wonderful
I shall wait for the Android version to come out!!
❤️❤️❤️
We're working on an android version, but this will come out in the distant future
Hey Junflower. Your wish is granted. Android version released!
YIPPEE!!!!
CAN'T WAIT TO PLAY IT
在玩完第四章後我才發現，自己直接跳過了一到三章阿阿阿！！
閱讀起來不能說沒有障礙，而是根本不違和好嗎？
檔案大小看起來也很正常，除了存檔紀錄上的4-x看起來怪怪的...
我就這樣暴雷完後面的劇情了，真的好想殺了自己阿阿。
只能邊哭邊補完前面了qq
哎，你是没发现底下的一到三章吗？算了，全都值得一读
Will there be an Android version?
Future. The translation comes first, but hopefully with Renpy port, it might make Android version possible.
Will there ever be a back button?
We are having the bud of a Renpy port, so hopefully, yes
Started reading english version... It's awesome!
But some grammar problems and parts of menu not translated. (mostly not a big deal)
Most of grammar mistakes not a problem. For instance: using "then" twice. Usually it is like: "first this, and then talk about this." OR "first this, and talk about this then.", not both.
Basic sentence structure in english: who/what - action - details.
I'd say Grammar now at 8/10
Issue with game not working is still there. Still need to permit use of .dll file after download. (explained earlier in comments)
Lastly, (for PC) going back using mouse scroll might be a good idea (similar to RenPy based projects controls)
Hello, good to hear your feedback. Right now, we are working on grammar improvement to make a better flow for the first three chapter, as well as Chp4 translation.
With the issue of game of not working, and the mouse scroll situation, that's just the engine restrictions. Of we ever find someone who can convert all our work into Renpy engine, it might be achieved, including new demanded features as well.
赞赞赞
狂喜！中文？
Do I have a question? Russian Russian will be the novel, I just liked the novel, but I would like to have it in Russian.
Hello, unfortunately, plans to translate it into other languages will be hard, and not planned yet. We would be happy to have a translator who would be happy to translate Chinese to Russian, but that will be in the future.
Okay, thanks for the answer.
This game is so well written, and I love the narrative taken, chapter 4 is a LOT of content. Nice job! keep up the good work!!! Kerno (I think that's the name) is my favourite character as well... The audio design is stellar!!! The music and sound effects perfectly fit every scene that it is used; to make a very immersive experience.
Quick question, when future updates come out, how will previous progress with character relationships carry over from past playthroughs? Will we be able to continue where our story left off?
Hello, sorry for the late reply. Unfortunately, I cannot answer how character relationship works for the VN, but regardless, other than whoever you spend time with, the story is more linear. The paths you chooses are more of understanding characters and solitary story that builds up the world view. Thank you for you reply, and we'll do our utmost to reach out with the English fans with the Tianhehui Chp4 translation to the best quality we can provide
Someone break me the news if there will be never an Android version.
unless we change the engine, and have someone manage to do this on Renpy, then we won't have an Android version until then
Can't manage to launch an Android version at the moment
Please understand.
Waiting for English is a pain q.q
We are sorry. Chapter 4 is the largest update to date for translation, and with certain feedback, anything less than 90 is unacceptable for us. Please be patient, and we will deliver a good result for those who like the VN
Hello everybody！If you like this novel,don't forget to promote it to let more people know TianHeHui.Because support is the creator's forward momentum.And thanks for your playing！Have a nice day~
Is there a way to play this game in fullscreen without visible taskbar??
I'm sorry there is no solution to this problem right now, but you can try hiding the taskbar.
The start is a bit slow but been loving it lately. Rare to find a mc capable of fighting, especially together with such an op group lol. Cgs are great and i love the artstyle in them
There's some tiny weirdness with the translation, like I think "longlong or longguang" (i forgot), i'm pretty sure it means dragon technology in the context. But for the most part the english translation is good enough to enjoy the vn
If you've been waiting to read it, now's a good time. There's a lot of reading hours in the first 3 chapters
You mean Longgong? That's the name for Dragon Palace, not Dragon technology
Yeah that's a bit confusing then. Is dragon palace a building or a dragon family? The context was i think "longgong technology made the incense burner"
Longgong is a undersea city for the Eastern Dragons, and "Longgong Technology" basically meant technology that have origin from Longgong or based on Longgong's technology. I hope that clears up a little
第四章修復版打不開):
可以详细说明一下吗？
正常打開某個軟件後會詢問是否執行，在點擊確程式後應該會啟動
但從後台工作管理員的狀況來只在執行後佔用了一些CPU，
在這之後就沒有在運作了，程式也沒出現任何的視窗。
嘗試過重啟或等待，但仍是相同的。
Now.. Im Gonna be BRUTALLY Honest This is DEFINETLY! One of the Best Visual novels ive Ever READ In my life time. The Story is AMAZING>>> The Artstyle and Characters Are BEAUTIFULY GORGEOUS..... And Overall Well Made!!! i Cannot wait for the Continuation!! (I Know its gonna take a while cuz of Translation- but hey! it doest Really matter! For such a Wonderful novel!!!)
啊啊啊啊啊啊，翻译组代表先生，真的非常抱歉那么久才回复，之前一直在找着实习的地方，通知也失灵, 完全没注意到，真的非常抱歉。
如果还有机会让我加入的话请回复下吧，下次我肯定更快回复
你运气很好，我现在旅游中，并且还有点机会可以回复你的信息。
简单来说，我可以允许你加入翻译团队。先加入discord吧，确认你的身份等等，然后在那上私信我。但是翻译工程会在三月开始，在那之前，你能否玩完英文版来了解一下我的翻译，然后时候一到，我们再商量一下如何最后的保持前三章的口感时，也可以更佳优化第四章的翻译内容，还有修改掉前三章的一些小错误。
了解，请给我多一些时间阅读英文版，还在适应实习工作时间
Discord的话今晚放工就加入
重下了两次（第4章），每次安装显示目录名称错误。只有我有这种情况嘛
是win用不了嘛
明天开学。。。但是要更新诶，开心开心（撒花✿✿ヽ(°▽°)ノ✿）
Me: wakey wakey, eggs and bakey
ha sido un juego de lo mas divertido, se leer ingles pero no escribirlo asi que lamento el hecho de escribir asi esta novela ha sido la mejor que he jugado no solo por escritura sino diseño transfodo y decisiones...saludos desde la sociedad latinoamericana<3
pd: me encanta Rex , me gusta por el hecho de que puedo relatarme en el, ne el querer ser util para tu familia y ayudarles incluso tengo a mi propio claude (mi hermano)
can I ask why after I download the game and hit play it opens a black screen that disappears after maybe two minutes and doesn't want to let me even load the open screen
The solution should be in the Tianhehui English Report devlog